A Positive Elul

Elul. The month of teshuvah. Rav Shalom Schwadron ztk"l was famous for his thunderous cry of “Elul!” It’s said that even the fish would tremble in Elul! And from the way the sefarim hakedoshim describe this time leading into the Days of Judgment, it’s clearly a very serious season.

So how are we supposed to feel during Elul? Is it meant to be stressful, filled with pressure and dread? Or is there room—perhaps even a requirement—for positivity?

For many, Elul feels overwhelming. The looming judgment, the demands of teshuvah, the fear of failing at commitments we’ve yet to make—it can feel like too much. Some wish they could skip straight from Shavuot to Simchat Torah, bypassing all the “depressing” days in between. The shofar and L’David Hashem Ori become burdens instead of inspiration, and too many people sleepwalk through Elul, unprepared for Rosh Hashanah.

But that’s a mistake.

The pasuk in Shir HaShirim says: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li—I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me. This verse, famously encoding the name “Elul,” is not about dread. It describes a loving, reciprocal relationship with Hashem. Elul is a time of closeness. Of warmth. Of return.

How do we get there?

Let’s look at the haftarot we read between Tisha B’Av and Rosh Hashanah—the shiva d’nechamata, the seven haftarot of comfort. Their very purpose is to heal klal Yisrael’s wounds. They’re not just about consolation; they’re declarations of Hashem’s enduring love:

“B'rega katan azavtich… u'verachamim gedolim akabtzech”—“For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will gather you.”

“B’shetzef ketzef histarti panai…”—“With a fleeting fury I hid My face… but with eternal kindness I will show you mercy.”

“Lo yishama od chamas b’artzeich…”—“No more violence shall be heard in your land…” (Parshat Ki Tavo).

Yes, that even means no more Hamas—may it be so soon.

Rav Shimshon Pincus ztk”l explained that one must come into Rosh Hashanah comforted. That means we’ve internalized Hashem’s love. From the mourning of Tisha B’Av to the awe of Rosh Hashanah, Hashem embraces us with promises of rachamim. When we feel that love, then we can joyfully, sincerely crown Hashem as King.

And yes—Rosh Hashanah is about crowning Hashem as King, not merely surviving a trial. The word melech implies a ruler beloved by the people. That’s the whole point. If we don’t want Hashem’s kingship, if we don’t feel the closeness and trust, how can we declare Him King with sincerity?

Too often people quote only the beginning of the pasuk: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li. But they forget the rest: haro’eh bashoshanim—Who grazes His flock among the roses. A shepherd could lead his sheep to any patch of grass. But Hashem leads us somewhere beautiful, gentle, and fragrant. That’s the Elul He offers us—if we’re willing to see it.

Still, inspiration alone isn’t enough. Many struggle to relate to traditional mussar sefarim. Their messages feel too intense, disconnected from modern life. We need guidance that speaks to us, that doesn’t overwhelm.

Rav Shlomo Brevda ztk”l once shared a story: A kollel man, overwhelmed by family distractions, asked if he could spend his weekdays alone in a beit knesset, away from home, to learn undisturbed. He’d bring a cot, food, and only return for Shabbat. Rav Brevda told him, “Why not learn focused during the day and be present at home? We’re not the same as previous generations.”

In yeshivah, a bochur once took a Mishnah in Pirkei Avot literally: “Eat bread with salt, drink measured water, sleep on the floor…” He did just that—skipping meals and sleeping on the ground. Our rebbe gently told him: “You’re crazy. Be normal. The Mishnah means be willing to, not that you must.”

Rav Leib Chasman ztk”l, Mashgiach of Yeshivas Chevron, offered timeless advice for teshuvah: Choose the smallest resolution you can realistically keep. Then cut it in half. And do it.

That’s how we return—with positivity, with balance, and with honest effort.

Elul is not a burden to survive. It’s an opportunity to thrive.

Let’s come to Rosh Hashanah comforted. Let’s see Hashem’s love. And let’s crown Him—willingly, joyfully—as our King.

R’ Dovi Chaitovsky and his family have the zechut to live in Eretz Yisrael, where he dedicates himself to Torah learning and teaching in Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh. His divrei Torah often draw from the shiurim of Rav Yisrael Altusky, shlit”a, which can be heard at kolhalashon.com.