The YidKins Diet

Pesach is finally over, and Spring is in the air. That can only mean one thing: We all need to focus on getting back into shape in time forSummer!

When I was first asked to be the celebrity face of the YidKins diet, I had to take a pause. We all know diets don’t work, so why should I endorse something we are all destined to fail at? Then it was explained to me that YidKins is more than a diet, it’s a way of life, a total transformation of the self!

Look, we’ve all tried that almost 3000-year-old fad diet of Kashrut; some have tried Kosher-style, some have even gone as far as full-on trief! But no matter what we’ve attempted in the past, we inevitably find our way back to that 3 a.m. rugelach binge and a guilt level so high, it's usually reserved for mothers after you move out.

What if I told you that rugelach at 3 a.m. is not only something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, but embrace? That is YidKins. From the shtetl to your table, YidKins is a new way of life. A new way around exercise and food. While popular fad diets have you giving up things like carbs, here at Yidkins we say, “Embrace the Bagel!”

But let’s break down the YidKins system, so you know what you are getting into:

 

Diet

Foundational Eating:

As I said before, YidKins doesn’t make you cut anything out of your diet; if anything, we add to it. Mostly, what we add is salt. From Kippered Salmon and Pastrami to borscht and schav, YidKins is all about bulking up on that most magical of flavor crystals. By creating a fortified dietary foundation of sodium, your body is under a constant stress point, which means you are basically exercising with each breath you fight for. That’s just science.

The Sephardic Cleanse:

Of course, a diet of just salt would not end well, and we are aware of that...now. That is why for one week of every month, YidKins schedules a Sephardic Cleanse. The Sephardic Cleanse is a week of eating nothing but figs, dates, pomegranates, and baklava. This allows the salt foundation to really settle in and apply its long-term healing properties, preserving you from the inside out.

Fasting:

The normal Jewish calendar has 6 fast days (depending on siblings), which is great for ritual stuff, but here at Yidkins we bump that number all the way up to 36, because double chai ain’t just the amount you give to b’mitzvah kids you only sort of know.

 

Exercise

Daily:

The hardest part of exercising is having the time to exercise. We get it, life is busy, so YidKins has created an exercise regimen to fit into your day-to-day.

• Wrap Reps- Wrap on, wrap off. With the right speed and applied tension, putting on tefillin provides the cardio and strength training you need. If the straps don’t leave a mark, you aren’t doing it hard enough.
• Herring Twists- Between pickled, creamed, salted, and wine, that is a lot of jars you need to open for breakfast. The tighter you twist, the harder the workout. And that is just in the morning, add a pickle with lunch, you’ll be sore the next day, and not just in your kidneys.
• Shacharit shuffle- The biggest cardio of the day is the Amidah. This 18-minute Iron Man of slow-motion squats, stationary shuffling, and hip bends is sure to work up a sweat.

Weekly:

• Shabbos!- For others, Shabbos may be the day of rest, but for you, it’s Hagbah day! Beginners start with just 3 columns and the scroll barely over their heads, but for the more advanced, the sky is the limit. The current Yidkin's record is 9 columns while standing on tippy toes. Can you beat it?

As America’s Rebbitzman, I can firmly say that the YidKins life is the only thing missing from your Judaism. I’ve been on YidKins for only a few days, and I already feel things in my body I’ve definitely never felt before. I am in such good shape that even my heart is racing.

What are you waiting for? Sign up for YidKins today and use the special promocode: REBBITZMAN4EVA to receive a free bottle of Slivovitz to help get you started on that road to healthy living.