Breaking & Rebuilding: The Hidden Blessings Of Setbacks

The Bukharian community recently gathered in Forest Hills for a night of inspiration with Gedalia Fenster. The event was put together in just five days by Nate Murdakhayev, yet it drew an overflow crowd eager to hear words of encouragement and faith. From the outset, Gedalia expressed gratitude. “God bless you, Nate,” he said. “Hopefully next year we’ll be here for a wedding.”

What followed was a stirring talk about the nature of setbacks, belief, and the personal struggles that shape a Jewish life. At the heart of his words was the story of the spies in the desert. They refused to enter Eretz Yisrael until they could first see success with their own eyes. “They wanted proof before faith,” Gedalia explained. “They wanted to see it before they could believe it. But real emunah means thinking greater than we feel—being hopeful and positive even without evidence.” Faith, he stressed, must come first. Waiting for conditions to be perfect before acting guarantees that nothing ever happens.

He then turned to the power of setbacks. “How you handle setbacks—that’s how you build a vessel,” he said. “The Jewish people had 42 journeys in the desert. Half were sweet, half bitter. That’s life. That’s our story.” Setbacks, he explained, are not failures but opportunities for growth. They prepare us for greater blessings. “When I get setbacks in my life, I don’t get depressed—I get excited. Because a setback means a new light is coming.” He pointed to examples both financial and personal: markets that rebound after a crash, and relationships that only strengthen after weathering difficulty. “The blessing doesn’t come when everything is smooth,” he said. “It comes from how we rise after the break.”

At one point, Gedalia became deeply personal. “I almost had a divorce six, seven months ago,” he admitted. “And yet that breaking created new light: a new book, a stronger relationship, blessings I couldn’t have imagined. That vessel had to break to make room for something better.” He paused to thank his wife, who was there with him, for her strength and support, reminding the audience that gratitude is the foundation of rebuilding. It was a vulnerable moment that brought the message home. “In Japan, when something breaks, they refill it with gold. That’s what we’re supposed to do. We don’t just repair—we rebuild stronger.”

From Kabbalah, he shared the idea that all of life can be understood through the energy of giving and receiving. There are four levels: receiving only to receive, which drains both giver and receiver; giving in order to receive, which looks good but leads to sadness; giving simply to give, the highest level where intentions are pure and joy is natural; and receiving in order to give, when even our receiving becomes a gift to others and to Hashem. “When you give to give,” he said, “you cannot not be happy.”

Many of today’s struggles, he noted, come from misdiagnosing the real issue. People think their problems are money, relationships, or status. But the root, he stressed, is often intention—whether we are living in receiving energy or giving energy. Prayer, he reminded, is the path to clarity. By thanking Hashem even for difficulties, we stop resisting the issue and begin to uncover its spiritual root. “Don’t look at the fruit,” he urged. “Look at the root.”

As the night came to a close, the community surprised Gedalia with a gift: an original artwork by local artist Vlad, inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Nachman that fuel much of Gedalia’s fire. Visibly moved, he thanked them again and again. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “Thank you so much. God bless you.”

The message was clear and powerful: setbacks are not reasons to quit. They are invitations to rebuild. “Breaking is blessing,” Gedalia said, his voice firm. “Every time the vessel breaks, a greater light is waiting to emerge.” For a community that knows the power of resilience, his words landed deeply—reminding us that through faith, giving, and right intention, even life’s hardest moments can be transformed into golden vessels of divine light.

By Shabsie Saphirstein